Universal Life Church

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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Universal Life Church

Giving and Receiving with Grace
by Rev. Susan Leigh

Giving and receiving are activities that we all participate in, many times a day, from buying someone a cup of coffee at work to comments and maybe compliments in conversations. Giving is not just about choosing a special present for someone. It is a more fundamental daily activity, reflecting attitude, empathy, generosity of spirit. Sometimes it may be useful to stop and assess our motives behind giving and receiving, what we are doing and how what we do influences and affects us. Are we being honest, do we feel that we are doing the right thing or are we just going through the motions on auto-pilot?

- Giving compliments. Words can be relatively easy to deliver, but sometimes we need to assess how honest we are being. Good manners and white lies can be justified on occasion, they may well make life easier for all concerned but is that the right way to go or are we in danger of becoming superficial in our exchanges with people? Honesty can sometimes require more time, thought and effort to do it properly and respectfully, but sometimes it is important to commit to being honest.

- Giving presents. Taking the time to really discover what will be a special meaningful gift is a very caring and intimate thing to do. Many people would appreciate a carefully chosen photograph, or a homemade collection of especially significant music more than they would a bottle of expensive wine or perfume purchased on the way to visit. The thought put into a personalized gift carries with it much affection.
- Giving time can be the most precious gift of all. Often children remember outings with their parents and grandparents to the zoo or seaside, or games in the garden in Summer and a picnic on the lawn more than they remember the expensive toys or trainers. Time together says that 'you matter to me, I want to be with you'.

- Intelligent giving is important. Giving someone a lot of money may be all well and good. Few people would refuse a large check. But sometimes buying a business opportunity or financing a project and giving a person the chance to do well is a more valuable gesture. However it does require planning and foresight to give intelligently. Charities often say that they prefer not to send bags of corn to distressed areas, but would rather teach the people how to grow and harvest their own corn every year. Intelligent giving supports people in becoming in charge of their own lives.

- Receiving. How often have we been mortified to receive a gift from somebody when we have nothing to give them in return. Being able to receive graciously is an important skill, requiring confidence and composure. Learning to say 'thank you' and accept the gift allows the giver to feel good about themselves and their gesture.

- There is an art to being gracious enough to accept something and appreciate the pleasure that is experienced by a person who gives out of love, thoughtfulness or just a desire to please another person. Accepting that gift with grace often gives pleasure to the giver of the gift.

- Receiving compliments requires a certain graciousness and confidence too. How many people respond with a negative or self effacing comment when they have been given a positive remark. Learn to smile, accept it and enjoy the moment. Appreciate that the other person is seeing something special in you and allow yourself to receive that remark. Let it boost your confidence and self belief.
Susan Leigh is a Counselor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams
For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net

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